But I won’t be down again before she comes to Chicago in about a month, so I’m pretty sure she just wants to cuddle.”“She isn’t the only one,” my sister sighed.Our food arrived a few minutes later. When we finished eating, I paid the check and we headed towards the elevators. When we got in, Stephanie pushed button ‘9’, instead of ‘L’.“What’s going on?” I asked warily.“Do you trust me?”“Usually. But after the bit with the rings, I’m not so sure.”We exited the elevator on the 9th floor and I followed my sister with more than a bit of trepidation. I had no idea what she had planned, and the idea of restarting our physical relationship bothered me for some reason. It wasn’t that I was opposed to being with Stephanie, but I thought that we’d put this entire thing behind us. I feared that the complications in the future would be severe.Stephanie used a plastic key card with holes punched in it to open a door to room 906. Not wanting to have a debate, or perhaps a fight in the hallway, I. With my secret and perhaps his, we are apart but together, happily ever after-ing in our ersatz Camelot. So, we sleep, toss and turn, in our bed of marriage, omission lies.The secrets of my husband's biological father, my elder brother's illegitimacy, Mom's brothel imprisonment, her forced abortion, and especially my wantonness are specter ghosts who haunt my happy little kingdom’s perimeter. I stand guard against them, a burden I carry alone.I went to Maui on a pilgrim’s search for Mom’s pineapple plantation. It’s gone, remembered locally like the orchards of Silicon Valley but gone, now a subdivision of homes and other lives. Like Dad's Alviso, time and events broke with its past. I couldn't even find my grandparents graves and accepted I'd never have grandparents, something missed.The two cousins tracked down provided no common recollections, never heard of an auntie who sailed away and we didn’t even look alike. It was as if going to Atlanta, Georgia seeking Tara after reading.
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